Honesty

Overall pregnancy has been pretty cool. It's fascinating and interesting. The positives have outweighed the negatives considerably. But I want to be able to look back on this blog and see what things were really like, so that means mentioning the bad stuff too. So here are a couple bad things, just so that I don't get rose colored glasses in a few months or years. ;)

First off, I will be 35 weeks tomorrow, and the hormones are finally starting to kick in. I have been a little weepy. It started with legitimate stressors just feeling overwhelming. There was a little family drama that I won't get into, and it really bothered me. But even after that was over, I just notice I have a short fuse and can't handle frustration very well. My snoring has gotten much much worse, so I have been sleeping on the couch or in the recliner from time to time just to keep from bothering Charles. When I wake up, I just feel emotionally drained. It has made me a little bit of a grump, I'm afraid. I know it's just hormones, but that doesn't make it much easier to handle. I have also been feeling a little overwhelmed. Baby showers are not really my thing, but people keep wanting to do nice things for me. Intentions are wonderful- I love and appreciate all the kind folks that want to do things for me. However, being the center of attention at a baby shower is going to be a little overwhelming and I'm a little afraid I'll cry. I hate crying in front of people.

I have been washing baby stuff and trying to put it away. People have been so incredibly generous and I am very appreciative. However it is quickly becoming apparent that I have possibly too much stuff. My house was a cluttered mess to begin with, and now I have baby stuff. As I am washing it, I see that I don't have room to store it all. I think a trip to Target for some storage containers will relieve some of that anxiety, but in the meantime I am just a little overwhelmed. Also, folding fitted sheets makes me crazy. I fold, I fail, I re-fold, I fail, I wad up, I huff, I go do something else for awhile, then I try again. I think I just need to go through some non-baby stuff and get rid of things, and then just play the baby stuff by ear. I will use what I use, and what I don't use, I will donate when the baby outgrows it. I need to separate myself from the idea that I have to use everything equally or have the baby wear every outfit. I won't know what I need or don't need until the baby arrives, so I just need to hang onto it all for now until I know better.

So that's basically it: hormones and feeling overwhelmed. All in all that's not too bad, right? People have been extra super nice to me, which is a huge perk to being pregnant. Charles has been AMAZING. Seriously-- he was a fantastic husband before but now I *really* see how lucky I am. This is a lucky kid, too, cause no matter what shortcomings I have as a mom, Charles is going to more than make up for. ;)

One last word about weight in case I want to look back on this. I am about 171 pounds now. That means I am 3 pounds away from the max of 174 that I was supposed to end up at. I think I'm going to go over by a few pounds, but it is what it is, right? I am not going to starve myself or the baby just to stay at that magic number. If I go over, that is just a little more work I have to do later. So I was 174 before I was pregnant, then I lost 20 pounds (or finished losing about 20 when we got pregnant), then I got preggo somewhere in there, and have gained back almost 20 pounds. So... that's that. I'd better go put more baby clothes in the dryer.