My brother brought some delicious goodies to my house from the parish bake sale, and it got me thinking... all of the bake sales I have ever seen involve people baking random stuff, donating it, then selling the donated goods with the proceeds going to some charity. There is surely a lot of stuff that ends up not being bought. What if we changed the way that bake sales are done? I propose that customers could submit what they would like to buy and what they would be willing to pay. Then bakers/volunteers could sign up to make those things. For instance, I want chess bars. I would pay up to $12 for some chess bars. Someone could say "oh, I love making chess bars, so I'll do that!" or "I have never made that before, but give me a recipe and I'll try it out!" Everyone wins, and no food gets wasted. What about spontaneity, though? What about the baker that has some great dish that nobody knows about, so no one knows to ask for it? Well there are bound to be people that say "I would like something chocolate, and I don't care what it is" or "surprise me!" or "some type of cookie- no nuts, though!" I think this is a brilliant idea. That said, I can't wait to go home and try the Black Russian cake that Joseph brought to us. :) :) :)
AND, if someone will make me some chess bars, I will donate $12 to the charity of your choice.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Illness
My household has been sick but we are thankfully all on the mend. It started with little Reed bringing home a bug or two. Charles got it the worst though because we suspect he caught a stomach bug AND the flu. The vomiting dehydrated him so badly that he had to go in the hospital. His blood pressure was too low, and he needed IV fluids and anti-nausea medication, plus meds to bring his BP up. He spent 2 nights in the CCU and one night in a normal hospital room. When he finally got to come home, he couldn't interact directly with Reed for a few days, so it was a very rough time, trying to take care of sick husband and sick baby. I only caught the stomach bug, but it was certainly no fun, and I broke my ~20 year streak of not throwing up. Many family members came to help us while we were sick and recovering, but every single person that helped us got sick! My brother also tested positive for the flu, but everyone else 'only' had the stomach bug. So glad we are all recovering now and doing much better. I have never missed so much work due to illness as I missed in the last week. I guess it's all part of the fun of having a small child. ;) Now there is a confirmed case of RSV at Reed's daycare so hopefully he can avoid catching that. Through all of this I am so grateful that Reed and Charles are now safe and healthy. It was scary for a little while there when Charles was in the hospital.
Now we are gearing up for Reed's baptism which will be right after Thanksgiving. Still making arrangements but my sister, Sarah, and her husband, Rick will be the godparents. They got Reed a little white suit to wear. It's going to be marvelous and I can't wait. :)
This post feels a little disjointed but I'm trying to do a few things at once so that's the best it's going to be for now. :) Have a great day everyone!
Now we are gearing up for Reed's baptism which will be right after Thanksgiving. Still making arrangements but my sister, Sarah, and her husband, Rick will be the godparents. They got Reed a little white suit to wear. It's going to be marvelous and I can't wait. :)
This post feels a little disjointed but I'm trying to do a few things at once so that's the best it's going to be for now. :) Have a great day everyone!
Friday, November 8, 2013
Shame
I haven't really posted about this, but I am going to step out of my comfort zone and talk about something personal.
I love my little baby boy, but having him was difficult. Not physically difficult, although that certainly had its challenges and its recovery period. I mean that it was emotionally difficult. All the hormones, the lack of sleep, the huge change in life and priorities and routine... it was hard. Although I love Reed so much, I was not handling things very well. It quickly became apparent that I had either Post Partum Depression or the Baby Blues. I am still not really clear on where one stops and the other starts. Although I never had thoughts of harming little Reed or myself, I did have many many many unpleasant and intrusive thoughts. I thought I was a horrible mother, that Reed would be better off without me, that life was difficult and unpleasant, that things would never get better... the list goes on and on. It was bad. I went to the OB/GYN and saw the amazing Nurse Practitioner, Donna, who I had seen throughout the pregnancy. She asked me some quesetions and determined that I had some mix of both depression and anxiety, and so she prescribed Prozac (actually it was generic prozac, fluoxetine, and it was the exact same dosage that my dog gets, which amused me!). We talked a little about how long it would take to kick in, and what side effects there might be. At this time I was still on maternity leave and the timing would be such that it ought to kick in before I started back to work.
I left the doctor's office and felt so relieved because I had finally done something to help myself and maybe there was hope. But then hubby and I googled Prozac and Nursing, since I am breastfeeding. Of course we read some terrifying stuff. The baby had already been wearing me out and fussing every night (the witching hour, the period of purple crying, or whatever you want to call it). We read that prozac can cause fussiness and sleeping problems in the babies of moms that breastfeed while on prozac. Why would I want to take something that would make things WORSE? I decided to go ahead and fill the prescription but wait to start taking it. When I got to the pharmacy, the lady at the counter was giving me the spiel about the medication, and I asked her if it was OK to take while breastfeeding. She seemed so shocked and said something like, "I'm so glad you asked, because this medication IS passed through breastmilk and should NOT be taken while you're breastfeeding." She proceeded to scare me more, and asked why the doctor would prescribe this to a nursing mom. I told her that I was relatively certaint that the NP is fully aware that I am breastfeeding since we had talked about it in my appointment. She went ahead and sold me the medication (only $4, thank you, walmart!) but I started to get upset. Then the pharmacy tech offered me some advice. What if instead of taking the medicine, I just took better care of myself? "Oh honey, I was bummed when I had kids too. Just make sure you take some time for YOU every day. Be sure to take a shower every day and wash your hair. You'll feel so much better." I started crying right there in walmart. Partly because she was being so kind to me, and partly because her advice was laughably stupid. You can't treat a chemical imbalance with a shower. And the problem was partly that I had NO time for me. When you're taking care of an infant, his needs come first. Your shower can wait. Ugh. So I took the Prozac home and had a conversation with my hubby and we decided to wait and not take it yet.
A couple weeks later I had a follow-up appointment with Donna. I ashamedly told her I had not been taking the medicine. She was frustrated on my behalf. I told her about the lady at walmart and she got kind of mad. "If she was concerned that I didn't know you were breastfeeding, she could have called me! She didn't need to upset you for no good reason." We talked more about the side effects, and I decided to start taking the medication.
Let me tell you-- best decision I've made in a long time! It really makes such a difference. Life is not perfect, there are still hard times. But now I feel like I can cope with things! I feel like there is hope, and that I can get by, and sometimes even do more than just get by! This is such an improvement over the feelings of hopelessness and overwhelming stress that I had before. And other people have noticed and commented on how 'tranquil' I am. Tranquil is not a word that I would EVER use to describe myself, but whatever. I never wanted to admit that I was on medication or that I had a hard time. There is so much stigma about it. Everyone else around me that has had a baby just makes it look so easy. You never hear about the bad times, or people never let on that they are bothered. So then when it happened to me, I felt like I was broken. There was something wrong with me as a mom. Did I not love my son enough? If I loved him, why was I not happy? Now I realize that is a trap. I can be both happy and stressed. I can love Reed Baby and still feel overwhelmed. I can feel like I am a horrible mom, but also know that I am doing my best and that the little things don't matter. I don't want to fall into the trap of not talking about the baby blues or PPD or medication, and then contributing to the problem of creating an expectation that having a baby is easy and perfect.
If you read this and you ever go through it, please know that it is OK to ask for help. It's OK to take medication or to go to therapy or to need some time away. I'm so happy I got help! If you have any questions, hit me up. Ask me about it. I used to be ashamed that I needed help but now I am just thankful that help is available! Take care. :)
I love my little baby boy, but having him was difficult. Not physically difficult, although that certainly had its challenges and its recovery period. I mean that it was emotionally difficult. All the hormones, the lack of sleep, the huge change in life and priorities and routine... it was hard. Although I love Reed so much, I was not handling things very well. It quickly became apparent that I had either Post Partum Depression or the Baby Blues. I am still not really clear on where one stops and the other starts. Although I never had thoughts of harming little Reed or myself, I did have many many many unpleasant and intrusive thoughts. I thought I was a horrible mother, that Reed would be better off without me, that life was difficult and unpleasant, that things would never get better... the list goes on and on. It was bad. I went to the OB/GYN and saw the amazing Nurse Practitioner, Donna, who I had seen throughout the pregnancy. She asked me some quesetions and determined that I had some mix of both depression and anxiety, and so she prescribed Prozac (actually it was generic prozac, fluoxetine, and it was the exact same dosage that my dog gets, which amused me!). We talked a little about how long it would take to kick in, and what side effects there might be. At this time I was still on maternity leave and the timing would be such that it ought to kick in before I started back to work.
I left the doctor's office and felt so relieved because I had finally done something to help myself and maybe there was hope. But then hubby and I googled Prozac and Nursing, since I am breastfeeding. Of course we read some terrifying stuff. The baby had already been wearing me out and fussing every night (the witching hour, the period of purple crying, or whatever you want to call it). We read that prozac can cause fussiness and sleeping problems in the babies of moms that breastfeed while on prozac. Why would I want to take something that would make things WORSE? I decided to go ahead and fill the prescription but wait to start taking it. When I got to the pharmacy, the lady at the counter was giving me the spiel about the medication, and I asked her if it was OK to take while breastfeeding. She seemed so shocked and said something like, "I'm so glad you asked, because this medication IS passed through breastmilk and should NOT be taken while you're breastfeeding." She proceeded to scare me more, and asked why the doctor would prescribe this to a nursing mom. I told her that I was relatively certaint that the NP is fully aware that I am breastfeeding since we had talked about it in my appointment. She went ahead and sold me the medication (only $4, thank you, walmart!) but I started to get upset. Then the pharmacy tech offered me some advice. What if instead of taking the medicine, I just took better care of myself? "Oh honey, I was bummed when I had kids too. Just make sure you take some time for YOU every day. Be sure to take a shower every day and wash your hair. You'll feel so much better." I started crying right there in walmart. Partly because she was being so kind to me, and partly because her advice was laughably stupid. You can't treat a chemical imbalance with a shower. And the problem was partly that I had NO time for me. When you're taking care of an infant, his needs come first. Your shower can wait. Ugh. So I took the Prozac home and had a conversation with my hubby and we decided to wait and not take it yet.
A couple weeks later I had a follow-up appointment with Donna. I ashamedly told her I had not been taking the medicine. She was frustrated on my behalf. I told her about the lady at walmart and she got kind of mad. "If she was concerned that I didn't know you were breastfeeding, she could have called me! She didn't need to upset you for no good reason." We talked more about the side effects, and I decided to start taking the medication.
Let me tell you-- best decision I've made in a long time! It really makes such a difference. Life is not perfect, there are still hard times. But now I feel like I can cope with things! I feel like there is hope, and that I can get by, and sometimes even do more than just get by! This is such an improvement over the feelings of hopelessness and overwhelming stress that I had before. And other people have noticed and commented on how 'tranquil' I am. Tranquil is not a word that I would EVER use to describe myself, but whatever. I never wanted to admit that I was on medication or that I had a hard time. There is so much stigma about it. Everyone else around me that has had a baby just makes it look so easy. You never hear about the bad times, or people never let on that they are bothered. So then when it happened to me, I felt like I was broken. There was something wrong with me as a mom. Did I not love my son enough? If I loved him, why was I not happy? Now I realize that is a trap. I can be both happy and stressed. I can love Reed Baby and still feel overwhelmed. I can feel like I am a horrible mom, but also know that I am doing my best and that the little things don't matter. I don't want to fall into the trap of not talking about the baby blues or PPD or medication, and then contributing to the problem of creating an expectation that having a baby is easy and perfect.
If you read this and you ever go through it, please know that it is OK to ask for help. It's OK to take medication or to go to therapy or to need some time away. I'm so happy I got help! If you have any questions, hit me up. Ask me about it. I used to be ashamed that I needed help but now I am just thankful that help is available! Take care. :)
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